Made this deliciousness. Happy turkey day! #coconut
Sometimes I just need to breathe, and some people just let me do that with more respect than others.
Sometimes respect is all I want,
But most days I just want someone to rip me apart.
Piece by piece.
Those are the days I know reality is still with me.
Maybe I just have
A lot to say because
I have broken too many hearts
To avoid my own getting ripped
I have been too many places and
Questioned too many
Days, of is my life worth living.
I finally grew up.
(I wish we all could)
Again its the holiday season and maybe
I’m not thinking so much about it all because
I have so much more money to spend.
But quite frankly I’m spending more because I’m thinking more,
And I can’t seem to forget any of it.
I remember the days of sleeping on the couch and the nights of intoxication,
Spent with marijuana, alcohol, good friends and
Sweet, sweet cocaine.
I will always spite my past, but
Never regret the future it gave me.
I hope you’re doing well.
Sometimes I wish I never filed for child support because i dont even notice the 200 dollars you are court ordered to give to raise and support my son. Half of that goes directly to diapers and I probably spend at least 150 in groceries. Your 200 dollars is worthless to me. I don’t need your money. I don’t think I’ll ever look at you as a man, either. A real man doesn’t abandon his son then come strolling into his life a year later.
Did I mention I occasionally get the sleep a full night? Little b apparently thinks its OK to wake up all night long.
Also its hard being one of the soul money makers in the house, with honestly probably the highest take home pay, and putting all my money into everything for everyone else. It is especially difficult when I am the youngest aside from the kids.
Did I mention its difficult working the 11-8 hours, the 845-615s, the extended shifts, constant bickering, highly competitive nature of my work place. Long hours, high pressure.
I wish my boyfriend could learn to appreciate more about myself. I wish he quit acting like a child.
A beautiful perk of having a toddler is that you’re never alone.
A downside of having a toddler is even when you’re taking a shit, you’re never alone. So you take that shit so quick while watching said toddler tear the bathroom apart…….
I’m still thinking about how my son, our son, is going to feel when he finds out you didn’t want him the very first year. That you missed his first solid food, crawls, steps, words. How will you feel? Maybe he’ll read my blog one day and see. Maybe his eyes won’t swell with tears.
Little b, you’ve always had me.